trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Randomize
