I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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