And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would ride that face into the sunset
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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