it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize