You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
