This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
