I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
