16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
