Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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