honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize