Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
