My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can you bring me the toilet please
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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