found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
