People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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