Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
babies were throwing up all over the place
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
third nipple confirmed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
