i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
