Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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