Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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