wrigley field is MILF paradise
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
