My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize