Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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