i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
