You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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