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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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