if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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