She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
