I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
