went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize