i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize