Dual....:-)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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