Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.