sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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