That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
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Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
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Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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