I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
