what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
