Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
