she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
