I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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