Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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