Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize