I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I want her autograph on my taint
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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