Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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