Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize