who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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