I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
