He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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