So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize