do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
