this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
