he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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