you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize